Ties of Fate
by Cookiecat
Summary: This is an AngealXGenesis story; my first one. Please read the preface for more information on what to expect and why. But most importantly: It's also a birthday present for a very dear friend of mine...
1. Preface

_

* * *

**When does a lifelong **_**_friendship cease to be a friendship and start to become something else? And how can you deal with it?_**

**_What do you do when you look at the person you have known almost all your life, and suddenly realize you never saw the truth?_**

**_When you have touched more than a thousand times before, and all of a sudden, it feels different, sending shivers through your spine?_**

**_What do you do, standing at the crossroads, desperately wanting to go back to like it was before, but at the same time long to take it further in the other direction?_**

**_Are you willing to jeopardize everything, in order to gain it all or lose everything you had?_**

_**

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**This story is d__edicated to the wonderful and talented Ayarah Thorne. _

_Happy Birthday, sweetie! Thanks for being such an inspiration!_

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First things first: Warning! This is a yaoi story, which means it features a relationship between two male characters (although one of them can sometimes behave a lot more 'girly' than the female lead in my other story ;). If you don't like it, you better don't read…

In my opinion, love is something that happens between two persons, regardless of race, background or gender…

Rated M just to be on the safe side, but there is no explicit sexual content (the stress is on 'explicit', of course. What you make out of the implicit stuff is up to you…).

**

* * *

What I wrote, how and why – kind of…**

Just in case you might be curious… A little 'story of the story':

Writing my ongoing story 'Final Fiction', I realized how much I liked the characters Sephiroth, Angeal and Genesis, especially in the way they are before/ at the very beginning of the events of the original 'Crisis Core' game (regarding Sephiroth and Genesis, that basically means 'pre-crazy', or 'before they turn bad' ;).

That's why I had the idea to dedicate a separate story just to those three and their close friendship.

While doing a first project outline, I suddenly realized that I had always thought of Angeal and Genesis as being not only best friends, but actually a bit more...

I don't really know where that thought came from. I can see the point in most other FF VII yaoi pairings (more or less ;), but I never felt that 'natural' about any of the others.

Of course I am well aware of the fact that there is not a lot of supporting evidence in the original cutscenes. It's something that goes on pretty much between the lines, like that side glance at the beginning of the famous 'Angeal-and-Genesis- versus-Sephiroth-training-room-fight-scene'… or it might be just me :)

The only problem I had to solve (because it somehow bothered me) was to find out if Angeal and Genesis are supposed to be related or not (Hollander's information given on that topic is quite confusing)… To cut it short (but I'm happy to discuss that point if anyone is interested), I came to the result that they are not (if Jenova cells were the criterion, half of the cast would be related to each other), but of course you could have another opinion here.

**A special thanks goes to Makayla (anoth****er talent on this site) for discussing the options with me. Thanks for your endless patience and support!**

When the first outline of this story had formed on my mind, **I got to know a really kind and loving person, a person whose friendship I value more than anything else. She is simply amazing, and we have so much in common. And I strongly recommend you go and check out her fiction! **

Because this special person stated in a comment to my original story that she liked my way to characterize the three top SOLDIERs (*still flattered and blushed*), I decided to dedicate this story to her. The fact that her birthday was coming up was the icing on the cake :)

**So once again: Ayarah Thorn****e, this is for you! Hope you like it.**

* * *

Connection to "Final Fiction"

Some lines on the relationship between this story and my ongoing project "Final Fiction": you don't have to read them together (if you are strictly against the use of OCs and/or a total Zack x Aerith fan, I understand you might not want to read it at all). Although they are surely somehow connected, they can both be read as a stand-alone.

In "Final Fiction", I kept the possible love relationship between Angeal and Genesis pretty much between the lines (the most obvious hint being the conversation between Destiny and Angeal at the end of Part III, Chapter 2, which ends with a question that is never answered and can be interpreted to everyone's personal liking. The same conversation is picked up here at the very end of this story). Although technically my OC Destiny is present according to the timeline of my other story, I wanted this story to be kind of independent. That's why she is referred to only very shortly in the first chapter, and of course in the final conversation (not by name, though).

The 'soundtrack':

All my writings (fan fiction included) happen to have a soundtrack, some music that (in my point of view) is connected to a certain scene, as it inspired me to write in the first place or just strikes me as a very close match to the emotions displayed. Just to underline that fact, I sometimes use lyrics quotes at the beginning of chapters.

The necessities:

**Disclaimer: **

The characters (Angeal, Genesis, Sephiroth and Gillian Hewley) and the background belong to Square Enix. I just took the liberty to play around with them, but my writing is purely fan-made, I get no material profit out of it whatsoever.

Or to put it in the well-known shape: They own the neighbourhood; I'm just playing in the backyard.

This story also contains lyric quotes. No copyright infringements intended; all rights reserved and with their rightful owners.

List of lyrics quoted according to chapter (as the titles are not mentioned in the writing itself):

Intro: "Keep holding on" (Avril Lavigne) _(I still don't know if her voice confuses me or not… but I quoted this song for the sake of its first lines)_

I : "Speechless" (The Veronicas)

II: "Yours to Hold" (Skillet) _(I so adore this song ;)_

III: "All I have" (The Veronicas)

IV: "More than it seems" (Kutless)

V: "I could get used to this" (The Veronicas)

VI: "Someone wake me up" (The Veronicas)

The song quote Genesis uses in Chapters III and V is taken from Emilie Autumn's song "Juliet" (I just thought it's such an intense line…)

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Coming to the end of my introduction, I apologize to everyone who thinks that I abused their beloved characters and to thank everybody else for reading through all of this.

Layout note: The story is divided into seven chapters, some are quite short, and some really long. To make it easier to read, I broke it into 'bite sizes'.

I hope you have as much fun reading the following story as I had writing it.

**Oh, and don't forget: Reviews are love :)**


	2. Introduction

_**I believe fate tied us together with a double knot…**_

_**---  
**_

**Intro**

_You're not alone  
Together we stand__  
I'll be by your side  
You know I'll take your hand.  
_

* * *

"Ms Hewley, can Angeal come out to play?"

Gillian Hewley got down on her knees to be on the same height with the slender seven-year-old. "I'm sorry, Genesis, but not today. Angeal has to stay in bed. He's ill."

The light green eyes immediately widened in panic. "Is… is he going to be ok?"

"No need to worry, it's only chicken pox. But he has to stay in bed for a while, and I can't allow you to visit, because you could catch it, too."

According to the look in his eyes, Genesis did not exactly mind that thought; but with an expression far too grown up for his young age, he nodded seriously, thanked her politely and left.

The next day, however, he came back to ask how his friend was doing. The same on the next day. And the day after that. On the forth day, it was raining heavily. Still, Genesis came over as usual.

"Aren't there any other kids you could play with?" Gillian asked. When Genesis slowly shook his head, she felt sorry for the little boy.

"Well, you could come in and sit in the kitchen with me, if you want to."

"Thanks, Ms Hewley."

When they entered the small kitchen together, Gillian could not help but to wonder. She did not like Genesis' wealthy parents at all. Almost nobody in the village of Banora did, anyway. That had been the reason why she initially hadn't been pleased to know that her son was spending all his time with the only child of the Rhapsodos family.

But as soon as she met Genesis for the first time, she changed her mind. This calm, serious, well behaved boy was nothing like she had imagined him to be, and surely not like his parents at all.

She had instantly liked him, and sometimes she even worried if Genesis was behaving too much like an adult person already, being the core opposite of her lively son. To Gillian, that fact was speaking volumes about the different styles both kids were raised in.

On this rainy afternoon, Genesis sat quietly next to her at the kitchen table and read in his book while she was sewing.

When she handed him a cup of tea later, she got a very polite "Thank you so much, Ms Hewley. You didn't have to."

Once again, Gillian could not help but to wonder. In her view, saying something like that would have suited a grown up man, not that small boy with the big green eyes.

_Does he ever behave like a child at all?__ And why is he always so serious? The only time I have ever seen him smiling is when he's with Angeal…_

She interrupted her thoughts. "Call me Gillian, Genesis. You are my son's best friend, so I think we should be on first-name terms."

Later, Gillian started to fix some lunch for her son, while Genesis, obviously finished with his book, took one of Angeal's pencils and began to draw something. When she started put everything on a tray to carry it over to her son's room, Genesis handed her his drawing.

"Could you please give that to Angeal, Ms Hew… - Gillian?"

Regarding the picture, Gillian was thunderstruck. It featured the two boys playing outside in the forest, but it looked more like a photograph than the work of a seven-year-old. At the bottom of the paper were two carefully written lines in round, almost calligraphic letters saying: _Please get well soon. I miss you._

On the next day, Angeal asked his mother for his set of crayons to draw a reply for his friend. Soon, Gillian was carrying pieces of paper back and forth.

And finally, the week was over and she could allow Genesis to enter her son's room. She would always remember Genesis' bright smile, as if he found something that had been lost for a long time.

He almost jumped on Angeal's bed, embracing his friend with the words: "I missed you soooo much!"

And Angeal hugged him tightly, replying: "I missed you, too, Gennie. It was boring without you."

Later that evening, Gillian entered the room to announce: "It's getting late, and it's already dark outside. I think Genesis should go home, before his parents start to worry."

Genesis looked at her, calm and sincere. "My parents never worry. But you are right, it's getting late. Thanks for everything."

Gillian still thought of that words long after Genesis had left. What a strange little boy… She could not say why she felt at the same time incredibly happy and utterly worried that the two had become that close, being more like brothers than friends.

Little did she know at that time that her former husband was watching the development with great scientific interest…


	3. Chapter I

**I**

_Falling head over heels  
Thought I knew how it feels  
But with you it's like the first day of my life_

_'Cause you leave me speechless when you __talk__ to me  
You leave me breathless the way you look at me  
You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through  
Can't help but surrender my everything to you_

_---  
_

Midgar surely offered many advantages, but sometimes it was a blessing to be out of the metropolis for a while, especially on a day like this.

The sun was shining brightly in the sky, it was a fairly warm day, and the perfect display of nature's beauty was a welcome contrast to the eternal grey of the city.

_Unfortunately, my mood is not as bright as the weather__…_

The red haired young man drew a deep breath. Sometimes life was just not fair. He had practiced for weeks, but he was still unable to fulfil all the requirements to become a SOLDIER first class.

Recently, he had put so much effort in his fighting skills training, but it just seemed not enough. Additionally, he had also messed up terribly in different theory classes. It was as if he was unable to concentrate, as if his mind was just not focusing on the tasks as well as it should. And as usual, bad things attracted company…

During the training today, the instructor had made his point more than clear. In the end, he had just said: "I'm sorry, but your recent performance is just average. That's not enough. It's called 'first class' for a reason. And not everybody is meant to reach that level, you know."

For Genesis, these words were pure horror. They did not only equal being unable to get a promotion. To him, they primarily meant losing a friend. The best and only friend he had.

Although Angeal would surely argue that this was not going to happen, Genesis just knew better. Their friend Sephiroth had been promoted to first class half a year ago, for extraordinary achievements. And although the three of them were still close and tried to meet regularly, things had become difficult. Sephiroth had different training and attendance times. He also had to work a lot more than before. But the most important point was that SOLDIERs first class were sent on different missions. Different equaled more dangerous. And somehow Genesis could not bear the thought of not being as close as possible to Angeal, especially when his friend was in danger. He had felt that way ever since they joined the Shinra Army together. Additionally, the two friends had never been separated for a longer time, and surely never even thought of choosing different paths in life deliberately.

But it seemed as if their army careers were forcing them into unwelcome directions. The first time they were actually confronted with a possible separation was when they both were nominated as aspirants for the SOLDIER program. Angeal never had the slightest difficulty to fulfil the requirements, but Genesis didn't do too well, especially not in the psychological test, a necessity for becoming a SOLDIER.

As a result, Angeal was announced Cadet, the official title of a SOLDIER third class, before him, and soon after that, he had to go on an assignment, leading to the Wutai area. As the war was in its high days, even a minor mission that did not lead into the direct combat zone was considered dangerous. These weeks had had been horrible. Genesis neither slept nor ate properly till his friend was back safe. After this experience, he felt he would rather die than go through all that fear ever again.

Things finally got better when they were introduced to the use of materia for summons and magic. While Angeal never showed much interest or capability for that sort of things, Genesis was announced a 'natural talent' from his first lesson on. Among the instructors, the common opinion was that he was just compensating for his other weaknesses, but just for once Genesis did not care about those rumors.

So during the exams for second class, things were going better than before. Still, Angeal was facing no problems at all, while Genesis had to struggle slightly. But finally, they were both promoted. Only now, it seemed that Genesis had reached the end of his capability, and he did not like it. Not at all. He just could not imagine a life without his friend by his side, and he felt like he didn't want to either.

Their friendship had always been something special. Genesis had once told somebody that they had been friends all their lives. Later Angeal had said: "Gen, that's not quite true. We only met when we were about six years old," and Genesis had answered: "I always forget about that. It's because I don't really have any memories of the time before meeting you. It's as if I didn't have a life back then."

Once again, Genesis tried in vain to stop all those thoughts running through his head. With a sigh, he lifted his sword and studied his own face in the bright reflecting surface. All in all, his features had changed since the time he had left Banora about four years ago, but his eyes still had that serious and distant expression that was frequently mistaken for arrogance by others. Despite that fact, he had been more than once labelled as 'good-looking, in an almost cute way', first by other members of the Shinra Infantry and later by fellow SOLDIERs. Genesis hated that point of view from the bottom of his heart and normally did his best to sabotage it with noncompliant behaviour.

_I just wonder what it is that Angeal sees in me anyway…_

He interrupted that thought as soon as it turned up. His mind seemed to circle that point almost constantly today, yet he did not want to go there. Maybe that was a problem, too, but not the top priority on his personal 'list of worries' at the moment… That spot was solidly taken by the fear of not being capable enough to make it to first class. Touching that problem again, he suddenly, he became aware of the fact that his eyes were turning wet.

_Dear Gaia, there is just no way that I let this happen! I'm not going to cry like a little boy again…_

Almost immediately, he started blinking several times to force down the tears.

"I thought I would find you here." The sound of those words made Genesis turn around like struck by thunder, only to find Angeal standing right behind him.

"I have been waiting for you after your class, but you were gone already," he added with a sympathetic smile. "I figured that meant bad news."

"You could say so. I messed up again."

"Oh damned. Just how bad exactly?"

"Really bad. With a capital b," Genesis replied, while carefully trying to avoid eye contact. He didn't want Angeal to notice that he had been on the verge of tears just seconds ago.

"Never mind," Angeal continued with a playful tone. "I'll give you a few extra lessons, just like last time, and it will work out. You will see."

"I don't know, Angeal…"

"But I do. Come on, get up and ready that sword of yours." With these words, he held out his hand to Genesis. "You know what Sephiroth always says: You can manage anything, if you just try hard enough. And stop doubting yourself."

Genesis faltered, but finally decided to take his friend's hand and allow Angeal to pull him up.

"You know what? You look at bit tired today. Have you been up all night again to read Destiny some stories?" Angeal still smiled at him and continued with a slightly teasing voice: "If she wasn't something like your adopted little sister, I would be jealous of her by now…"

Once again, Genesis tried to avoid matching his friend's gaze. His thoughts still kept turning over and over in his head, and he had to admit that he both liked and disliked were this was going. Finally he decided to ignore his nervousness by saying: "She was just having nightmares again. When she can't sleep, she comes over to see me. That's all it is, and you know that perfectly well."

"What if I'm getting nightmares? Can I come over then, too?"

Genesis felt the blood getting into his face. Damned, now he was blushing for sure. Angeal was obviously trying to provoke some kind of reaction, while Genesis was trying his best to stay calm; and that was a fairly odd situation. It used to be the other way around, all the time. And Genesis had no idea why their typical roles seemed to be swapped recently.

"Angeal, stop hitting on me! I'm not in the mood to discuss that kind of stuff today. I had to listen to enough nonsense this morning. What kind of friend are you anyway, if you…"

"Gen, I didn't mean…"

"… if you can't see what I'm struggling with. Maybe I'm just too stupid or too weak or too incapable to make it to first class, and everybody else…"

But before he could finish his complaint, Angeal stopped smiling and took an energetic step forward. In the split of a second, they stood close to each other, and Angeal leaned forward to kiss him.

_Well, that was… unexpected._

Genesis jaw dropped. He was thunderstruck and his mind went completely blank, obviously due to the fact that he was trying in vain to make sense of that situation. At the same time, his mood kept alternating between confused, annoyed and… - something else entirely.

"If there is no other way to shut you up, there is always a last option that will do for sure. I'm glad to know you that well, Gennie."

The sound of his childhood name finally brought Genesis back to life, triggering a knee-jerk reaction: "How many times have I told you not to call me that?"

Angeal just smiled again and whispered "You're so cute when you're angry," before gently stroking a strand of hair out of Genesis' face.

For what seemed an eternity, they were just looking into each other's eyes. Although technically, they both had bright blue eyes, a result of the Mako treatment that made them SOLDIERs, they were yet different. Angeal's were darker, carrying no trace of the fact that he used to have hazel coloured eyes before, while Genesis' displayed a lighter shade of blue, with a slight underlying hint of green, his former eye colour.

Reflecting the current state of their owner as being at a complete loss for words and totally overthrown by contradicting emotions, Genesis' eyes currently seemed to contain tiny bright green sparkles. Angeal knew that this was a warning sign, and any kind of response between panic and anger was possible. To his surprise, Genesis finally settled for the most unexpected reaction: giving in. He closed his eyes as Angeal kissed him again, this time longer and more intense.

When they finally looked at each other again, Angeal's face became slightly more serious. He picked up Genesis' sword that had fallen to the ground, and when Genesis reached for it, Angeal tightly closed his hand around his friend's and the sword, before saying insistently: "Stop pushing yourself so hard. You would be capable of much more, if you only believed. Just remember one thing: You will pass that stupid examination for first class next week. You will pass, because I want you to. And because you can do it."


	4. Chapter II

**II**

_Every single day  
I find it hard to say  
I could be yours alone  
You will see someday  
That all along the way  
I was yours to hold  
_

_I'm stretching but you're just out of reach  
You should know  
I'm ready when you're ready for me  
And I'm waiting for the right time  
For the day I catch your eye  
To let you know  
That I'm yours to hold_

_---  
_

Angeal was lying on the bed, arms crossed behind his head. Somehow, he could not sleep. Every time he tried, his thoughts just kept moving, back and forth, but always returning to one single person. Genesis.

Goddess, their relationship had been so simple in the beginning, and had become so difficult lately.

For the first five - respectively six - years of their lives, their paths had never crossed, despite them growing up in the same small village. They were not supposed to meet, as they were living in different circles of society: Genesis' parents were wealthy, his father being not only the mayor but although the unofficial owner of Banora (as the inhabitants used to put it), while Angeal and his mother were living close to the poverty line.

Angeal was an only child, but he never felt like that as he had lots of friends. Additionally, he learned to deal with problems from a very early age on. If the older boys tried to mess with the younger ones, he usually was the one to set things straight, even if he needed to fight for that. And despite the poor surroundings he was living in, he had a happy childhood and was always sure his mother loved him dearly.

When he first met Genesis, it was as if two different worlds collided. While Angeal was at least respected, if not adored by the other village children, no one seemed to like Genesis. The older boys regularly picked on him, and even the his peers excluded him from their games. On the one hand, it might have been due to the fact that the hatred between the parents was handed down to the children, but on the other hand, the main reason had been that Genesis was entirely different. You could see that on the first glance. Not only that his clothes were slightly better than those of the other village children, he also was smaller and more slender then the others, his face more delicate and his red hair slightly too long. That image was completed by huge green eyes and long lashes.

When Angeal first met him, even he had thought the redhead was a girl. Maybe Genesis could have won the kids over if his behaviour had been different, but his character just fitted his outward appearance: weak and very emotional. He had the reputation to be prone to tears, easily upset, and on the other hand simply too quiet, too serious and much more interested in books than in real life. So as a result, he was on his own most of the time.

In the beginning, Angeal stood up for him occasionally just like he did for others, because it was his idea of honour to help those who could not defend themselves. But one day, when all his friends had been away, he had started to play with Genesis and for some reason still not entirely known to him, he had instantly liked the other boy. Maybe it was because he was so different, and therefore unpredictable and intriguing. As Angeal was used to easily see through people after carefully studying them for a while, an 'unsolvable puzzle' like his new friend was something his rational mind could hardly resist.

At first, Genesis seemed to be genuinely hesitating and unsure if he could trust Angeal at all, but soon they became inseparable. Although Angeal tried to get Genesis to join the other children, he soon had to admit that things were just not working out. Finally, he was faced with the first difficult decision of his young life: he could stay on the other childrens' side and go on as before, or he could turn to Genesis. It took him a lot of sleepless nights pondering over that problem, but finally he made up his mind. A part of his motivation might have been pity, another one curiosity, accompanied by a feeling of strong connection that tied him to his new friend. The only thing Angeal knew for sure was that he never regretted that step, not even for a single second.

They were the most unlikely of friends, core opposites like fire and ice, but they seemed to complete each other just great. Angeal was rather calm and rational, in a way that strangers sometimes mistook as cold and without feelings, yet none of those who knew him would have used any of these expressions. If something upset him, he would swallow it down, and if he had to solve a problem, he kept turning it over and over on his mind, evaluated several options and came up with a compromise most of the time.

Genesis, on the other hand, was quite the opposite, lively and emotional. Sometimes too emotional. He could go from depressed to overactive in a few seconds. But every time he was confronted with adults, he would change into a completely different person and become quiet and serious, almost withdawn. Problem-solving meant to him to listen to his gut feeling, and to insist upon getting his way, a trait of character others often referred to as 'stubborn'.

Looking at Genesis today, Angeal had to admit that his friend had developed quite a bit from the little boy he had been. He was as emotional as ever, but if someone managed to upset him (which was easily done by just choosing the wrong words), he would no longer run away and cry, but confront his opponent with a kind of fierceness that would often get him into trouble. Luckily, Angeal was still there to look out for him and remind him of his 'holy trinity' (as Genesis referred to it): Breathe, think, act. In that precise order.

While it had always been obvious on the first glance why Genesis needed Angeal, one had to look closer to find out why it also worked the other way around. Genesis' lively personality reminded Angeal of the fact that life did not only consist of work, and honour was not the only important principle. If he managed to cheer Genesis up, no matter how depressed his friend was, Genesis inversely always found a line to say that would make Angeal laugh, no matter how hard he tried to stay serious.

Their different personalities were also combined with the fact that they had different talents. Angeal easily remembered abstract things like names or numbers, while Genesis possessed a great memory capacity for events, faces and any line of poetry he had read. His amazing talent with words was quite helpful if someone had to be convinced by argumentation (fact was, Genesis could have sold an encyclopaedia to a total analphabetic) or if they needed an excuse for anything, which came in handy during their first time in the Shinra Army, whenever they had been too late for their classes.

Angeal's talents were more with rational thinking, problem solving and - last but not least - with the way he always looked out for everybody around him. He was also more skilled when it came to fighting techniques and the general art of war – the everyday job of a SOLDIER.

In that way, they had always been close to each other. Of course they argued sometimes, but they would always make up sooner or later (usually sooner) as they could not stand to be separated. They were drawn to each other like the two sides of a magnet, or, as Angeal's mother used to put it, they were like peas and carrots. Genesis hated that comment, though, because 'carrots' always reminded him of all the fun the other kids had made of him because of his red hair. Angeal used to smile and say: "Well, I've never seen auburn carrots in my whole life…" Following that, he would tousle through his friend's hair, which was one of the most effective ways to make Genesis freak out. Oh, he could be so girly when it came down to things like his hair…

Well, that's how things had been, all those years. The only remaining question was: Why didn't they just stay the way they used to be?

Angeal could not remember when exactly everything had started to change. He had by no means woken up one morning and realized that all was different. It had been a silent, gradual development. Suddenly it felt different for him when they touched ever so slightly. Then he started to look at Genesis and realized he had never seen his best friend as pretty or –Goddess forbid! - attractive before, but suddenly did. It still felt good to have Genesis around, but sometimes it also felt slightly embarrassing. He needed quite some time to figure out what was happening. But one day he realized that their friendship had changed into something else. At least for him. And that's where the problem started.

And 'problem' was a word normally not known to Angeal. He had never been confronted with something that seemed unsolvable.

For example, he never had a problem to get along with others. His quiet and agreeable personality helped a lot with that. Take girls, for example. The uniform of a SOLDIER usually seemed to attract all kinds of females, and he generally enjoyed their company. But he just never saw what was supposed to be the big deal about girls. At the age of 16, he finally realized that his taste was going somewhere else. So he was into men, once again, no problem. He could live with that.

That he suddenly felt attracted to his best friend was another thing completely.

Angeal had just no idea how he could deal with that. It felt embarrassing, totally inappropriate, incredibly wrong – and yet so right at the same time.

To make the problem even worse, Angeal was aware of the fact that as emotional as Genesis was, when it came to love, it was as if a door flew shut. Genesis never talked about anything connected to that topic; he seemed just completely unaware of the fact that there was something like romance outside of those books he read. Additionally, he was not the most extrovert person. During the years, he developed a kind of cold and arrogant behaviour that kept most people at distance.

Angeal just happened to know one or two not so very nice details about Genesis' childhood that could explain this obvious contradiction in his friend's otherwise very emotional personality. In short, Genesis was just extremely cautious in forming any kind of bonds.

And if Genesis refused to talk about certain things, Angeal was not the person to broach the issue. So he neither knew if his best friend had any assumptions about his love life, nor if Genesis had ever experienced anything close to romance himself. It seemed to be the only secret they never shared with each other.

Because of that, Angeal just couldn't imagine addressing the whole problem openly, as he was unsure how Genesis would react. He just felt like there was a huge chance for jeopardizing their close friendship. So Angeal went for the only option imaginable for him: to say nothing.

And even that turned out to be a mistake. Angeal still felt embarrassed when he thought about that incident, although it was nothing more than a very blurred memory.

It happened about half a year ago. The initially lose contact to Sephiroth had just turned into an honest friendship, and on that certain evening, the three of them had been to downtown Midgar. In a bar, they met another bunch of comrades celebrating a birthday party and decided to join them for a while. Thinking back, Sephiroth, Angeal and Genesis all had to admit they had never been that drunk before in their lives – and probably not even after. That condition was a rather unusual thing for Genesis, anyway. He normally avoided any considerable amount of alcohol for two reasons: "Number one, it makes me depressed. And number two, I hate losing control."

Angeal had no idea why Genesis seemed to forget about both reasons that fateful night. Fact was, however, they all ended up being helplessly drunk. And later that night, Angeal and Genesis ended up somewhere else…

Neither of them could remember what exactly had happened. The only memory they shared was waking up the next morning in the same bed (nothing unusual so far), both naked (that's were it started…) and looking at each other in total disbelief.

After some minutes of silence Genesis got up, collected his clothes from the floor, put them on and walked (at least he walked, not ran) out of the room without saying a word.

Angeal had never been so afraid of losing him in his whole life. It turned out that Genesis just jumped to the same conclusion as Angeal before: he decided to ignore the whole situation and acted as if nothing happened. Just too bad that it did not really work.

Although it had not exactly been a night to remember, and –once again – neither of them was really sure **what** had happened; they both knew **that** there had been something.

Little by little, that knowledge created a kind of awkward distance. After a few weeks, Angeal realized that there was only one way to save whatever was between them, and that was to talk about it. He spent several days struggling for words, and just did not seem to get anywhere. Words had always been Genesis' world.

And then another fateful moment arrived. It had been a terrible hot, sultry day. Towards the evening, black clouds appeared in the sky and the wind increased. Finally, a thunderstorm broke lose.

Angeal suddenly felt that he could not wait another day. He looked for Genesis and found him in an empty ground floor training room where he was practising his fighting skills.

"Gen? Have you got a minute? We need to talk."

Genesis turned around slowly. "What's the matter?" he asked, with a badly disguised effort to make this question sound as if he had really no idea.

Angeal sighed. He still had no idea how to put it, but he knew he had to say something. Now. "The thing is I'm not really good with words. I can't make the most mundane fact sound poetic, like you can. I just think we can't go on like that. And you must feel the same way, too."

Genesis slowly put his sword down. Avoiding Angeal's gaze he returned: "With what exactly can't we go on, in your opinion?"

"Pretending that nothing happened that night."

"Well, I for my part can honestly swear on my life that I don't remember anything."

"Neither do I. But that is not the point. The point is we both know that there was something. And that knowledge is corrupting our relationship. We can't continue like that."

"And what do you suggest we should do about it?" Genesis' voice sounded as if he was genuinely interested in the answer.

Angeal took the chance to take a few steps forward. For the first time in weeks, Genesis did not retreat. And even more, he still matched Angeal's gaze.

Encouraged by that fact, Angeal continued: "I honestly have no idea. Guess that depends on you. The only thing I know with absolute certainty is that whatever happened that night, I don't exactly regret it."

The expression on Genesis' face changed from confusion to panic. He literally trembled for a short moment, then he turned around and ran out of the room.

Angeal had expected any kind of reaction, but not that. He just immediately knew he could not give up now. In the next moment, he was after his friend.

Genesis had made his way through the hall and out of the main door – into the pouring rain. He took a few more steps and finally stood still, unaware of the rain coming down as dense as a curtain.

Angeal approached him slowly, still unsure what to do. They both just stood there for some minutes, not realizing or not caring that their clothes had become soaking wet.

"Genesis… I'm sorry. I apologize if I hurt you. It's just that… I realized I like you a lot… a lot more than I thought. Believe it or not, I have been thinking about you almost constantly during the last weeks…"

Another lightning illuminated the sky, the roll of the thunder followed soon after.

Genesis slowly turned around. His face was so wet that Angeal could not tell if he had been crying. He looked at Angeal, his eyes all serious. "Stop playing with me, Angeal, will you?"

"Gen, I'm not playing with you. I would never do such a thing. I meant every word I said. Cross the heart."

Genesis looked at him for another minute, as if he was trying to evaluate whether he could believe him nor not.

In the next second, he threw himself into Angeal's arms. For what seemed an eternity, they just held on to each other.

Finally, Angeal gently grasped Genesis' chin and tilted his face up. They both saw the lightning reflected in each other eyes, being completely oblivious to the thunder that followed. And then they kissed.

It was their first real kiss, outside in the pouring rain, in the middle of a raging thunderstorm.

---

"My problem is I can't go from being your friend to being your lover just like that."

"Why not?"

"I have issues."

"What kind of issues?"

"Trust issues."

Angeal could not help but shake his head. "Frankly, Genesis, that is the most stupid thing I've ever heard. We have been best friends since we were six years old. You never said you did not trust me."

"That's not it. It's a different kind of trust I'm talking about," Genesis returned.

"Tell me honestly, is that a kind of excuse for the fact that you are not quite comfortable with the thought of two men being in love?" It was an uncomfortable question, but Angeal felt that he needed to know.

"That's not the point. Even if you were a girl – ignoring the fact that I'm not into girls, at least I think that I'm not, although honestly I could not tell as I have never been in love with anyone really – that would not change anything."

Angeal needed a few seconds to recapitulate what Genesis had just told him. He admired his friend's ability to put all the important facts in a row of subordinate clauses. But then he suddenly understood that Genesis was just once again utterly frightened of too much closeness.

"What I want to say is that being lovers implies a totally different emotional bond than being friends," Genesis tried to explain. "It is more like family. And my experiences with family are not too good." He looked at Angeal as if to ask for forgiveness, before he added: "Therefore, I might make a better friend than a lover."

Angeal felt just really relived that Genesis' 'issues' were not about what he had thought in the first place. "The thing is, I never asked you to go from zero to hundred in just five seconds – all I wanted to know is if you could imagine we tried."

He carefully sat down next to Genesis. Encouraged by the fact that the redhead did not try to move away from him, he gently reached out to touch his hand. "See? I'm really bad with words. If I was you, I could have said something more poetic, something convincing… Damned, sometimes I really wish I had your talent."

To Angeal's surprise, one of those rare bright smiles appeared on Genesis' face, making his eyes sparkle. Then he closed both his hands around Angeal's, and still looking into his eyes, he said with an almost melodic, clear voice: "_No one but you could ever fill my night, be the sunlight in my every day_."

They were both silent for a minute. It had always been Genesis' talent to turn the most prosaic things into the most beautiful words, and no matter how cliché something was, he could make it sound honest and real.

Angeal finally managed to reply: "That's just amazing. Exactly what I meant… I wish I could think of something like that."

Genesis blushed a bit. "Don't flatter me, because those words are not mine. It's a song, if I'm not mistaken. I just quoted. To be precise, I'm pretty out of words myself…"


	5. Chapter III

**III**

_I was missing you  
You were miles away  
He __was close to me  
I let him stay_

_If I'd only known  
It would break us  
I'd have done anything just to save us_

_'Cause you're all I have  
When the world comes down on me  
You're the one I love  
And I'm begging you to see_

_Your love for me was always there  
Maybe too much for me to care  
Now that I know I messed it up  
I'd give my all to take it back_

_---  
_

Angeal sighed and turned to the other side. The chain of memories continued, no matter how hard he tried to derail that train of thoughts.

After he and Genesis had talked about things, their relationship improved again. They were back to their normal friendship level in no time. And slowly, something else developed as well… It just was impossible to nail down what exactly. The problem was that while Angeal had never been more certain of his feelings, Genesis seemed unable to make up his mind in either direction.

It didn't help that just a week later, Angeal was informed that he had to go on an assignment, which consequently meant that they would not see each other for three weeks. Things like that always seemed to happened in the worst possible moment, and in addition, this 'mission' (it did not even deserve the title) was no big deal and in fact utterly boring.

"We are supposed to guard the Turks who are guarding President Shinra, just because he decided he wanted to go on a little field trip… all we are going to do is hang around the whole day," Angeal complained on the evening before he left.

Genesis was well aware of the fact that complaining was something Angeal hardly ever did. It just spoke volumes of the fact that his nerves were on edge, and Genesis felt responsible for that. "You know, maybe it's not that bad. If I don't see you for some days, I might be able to finally figure out what I really feel. It might sound odd, but at the moment, I'm just not sure…"

The first week passed. Angeal constantly felt as if something important was missing, as if he was only half the person he normally was. He figured that Genesis had to feel the same way, and the fact that they both tried to keep in close contact just confirmed that assumption. Angeal called Genesis almost every evening, and Genesis wrote him a letter every second day. This might appear strange to every one else, but Angeal knew that Genesis sometimes found it easier to spell his feelings out while writing. And Angeal loved every single line his friend wrote, despite the fact that reading those letters often felt like an emotional rollercoaster ride.

Right at the end of the second week, an especially fateful letter arrived. Angeal did not remember every single word, but the overall message was that Genesis was still unsure of his true feelings and therefore concluded it could not really be love, "because love should feel different, I'm sure of that. So maybe it's better if we just stay friends, as I could never forgive myself for hurting or disappointing you". Needless to say that these lines left Angeal pretty devastated.

And in the end, this emotional muddle caused him to take a step that did not seem like him at all, a move he should terribly regret later.

His name was Ryan. Ryan Farell. A tall, quite handsome guy who held the rank of an 'ordinary' lieutenant in the Shinra Infantry.

They were by no means strangers, quite the opposite: they had a kind of history together. Well, it had been something like mutual attraction, a memory Angeal had filed somewhere under 'affairs'.

At first they were both surprised the find out that their paths had crossed again. They started to hang out together, as they were equally bored with the present assignment, and in one specific night, one thing led to another.

Looking back later, Angeal was still not completely sure about his reasons. It had been a strange mixture of trying to take things back to level they had been before he developed feelings for Genesis and a simple act of defiance, a childish reaction among the lines of 'If he doesn't care about my feelings, why should I care about his? And after all, we are not even together.'

When Angeal returned to Midgar, he briefly thought about telling Genesis everything, but in the end he rejected that thought. He assumed that there was no need to explain himself, as his love life had never been a topic between them during all the time of their friendship; and the fact that suddenly both spheres were interrelated still confused the hell out of him. To make things even worse, Genesis apologized for those lines he had written, claiming that he had just been desperate and afraid to do the wrong thing. So basically, everything was up in the air again. One more reason why Angeal pushed his 'indefinable-but still-there' bad conscience somewhere to the back of his mind and almost forgot about it.

---

He never found out who gave Genesis that information. But one day, Angeal found himself in a situation that still made him cringe when he thought about it.

"Gen? Hey, what is it?" Angeal could just tell something was wrong. When Genesis looked at him, he was surprised to see the chill in his eyes, prominent, but not able to disguise the deep hurt that was lying beneath it. "Talk to me. Please. Or do I have to go down on my knees and beg for it?"

"When you returned from that assignment, are you sure there wasn't something you wanted to tell me?"

Well, Angeal had a suspicion were this was going, but he still replied: "Not as far as I remember… Why do you ask?"

"Really? What about Ryan, then?"

_Damned, damned, damned…_

"I did not tell you because it was not important. I… it didn't mean anything."

"And what if it means something to me?" Genesis' eyes were on fire. He was clearly having one of his famous temperamental fits. Strangely enough, Angeal really felt guilty, and he just did not seem to find the right words to handle that situation. All he finally managed to say was a defensive "Is that supposed to tell me you are jealous?"

_I was such__ an idiot! Saying the most inappropriate thing possible…_

Genesis' jaw dropped. But he was rarely speechless for long when he was angry. And this time, he was raging. "What were the exact words I told you right at the beginning? I told you not to play with me! This is not about me being jealous. This is about you lying to me. I trusted you!" He absentmindedly ran his fingers through his hair, a typical gesture when he was in an emotional uproar. Angeal tried to say something, but he had no chance.

"You bloody well knew that I had problems with that in the first place. You told me it was ok, but as soon as you are away for some days, you turn to someone else. And you don't even have the guts to tell me."

"Gen, I… I'm sorry…" He tried to reach out for him, but Genesis turned away.

"Cut that, will you? I don't want to hear any of that nonsense. At least you know now that I really feel more than friendship for you, otherwise I would not freak out like that… But maybe it was a mistake. You never lied to me when we were friends."

His last words sounded clearly more hurt than angry. Angeal made another attempt to reach out for him, but Genesis only hissed back: "Don't you dare to touch me! Get out, right now!"

It was not before he left the room that Angeal understood the full content of Genesis' words: _At least you know now that I really feel more than friendship for you, otherwise I would not freak out like that… But maybe it was a mistake._

Looking back, the following days had been the worst time of his life. All memories were mainly a kind of blur, even all the times he tried to apologize to Genesis, who kept constantly pushing him away.

_"Gennie, I'm so sorry if I hurt you. It was a mistake not to tell you about it, but I did not want you to know because it really meant nothing to me. It was about sex, not about feelings. And maybe it only happened because I missed you so much."_

_"How petty! That must be one of the most popular excuses next to 'I was drunk'. Oh wait, we had that one before, hadn't we?"_

Despite the fact that Genesis kept so aloof from him, Angeal could not stop to search his forgiveness. He was just too afraid that once he stopped, he would lose Genesis for good. And he just could not bear the thought of that happening.

Looking back today he could see that Genesis had not been angry, but hurt. When he was angry, it was like a thunderstorm, destructive, but over in a few minutes. Hurt was something else. It was a feeling Genesis had been confronted with since early childhood, again and again. It made him lose all trust towards other people. And now the person he trusted the most had – in his point of view - offended him, too. He just did not seem to know how to deal with that.

One day, Angeal came to over to Genesis' room to hand him some paperwork. He knocked as usual, entered – and found his friend crying. Although Genesis tried to deny it at once by turning away, Angeal still knew immediately that it was because of him and the whole totally messed up situation. And for the first time, he felt tears welling up in his eyes, too.

"Gennie, please, stop crying. If it's because of me, I'd much rather have you shouting at me again. Everything's better than that. If you don't stop it this very minute, I'm going to join you."

Genesis stopped indeed. Maybe it was the sheer surprise about his friend's reaction, as in all these years they had known each other, he had seen Angeal sad, but never crying.

They looked at each other, with equally wet eyes. And suddenly, a wall broke down.

"I'm so sorry, Angeal. I was at fault; and even worse, I did not see how much I hurt you…"

"Now you lost it completely. I'm the one who should apologize."

"Wrong again. You don't even owe me an explanation, and there is nothing you have to apologize for. Still, you've done so countless times already."

"And I'll do it again: I am sorry. I made the biggest mistake in my whole life, and all I can do now is to ask your forgiveness. Although I could totally understand if you denied it to me."

Genesis tried to smile despite of the tears still running down his face. "You are so stupid. How could I deny anything to you? You are my life. I need you."

For some minutes, they were just holding each other, endlessly relieved.

"I'm sorry for throwing such a tantrum…" Genesis whispered.

"Don't be. That's why I love you so much. And I still think you're cute when you're angry…" Angeal returned. The sheer relieve over their making up made him add a teasing: "It might be that you are even cuter when you are jealous…"

With the long trained reflex of a SOLDIER second class Genesis punched him in the stomach. Angeal went down on his knees, but more for surprise then for pain. "Are you out of your mind?" he complained theatrically.

"Well, if you can't take that, it's one more reason for getting a girlfriend."

"As long as you keep having bitch fits like that, I feel like I've already got one."

They looked at each other for not more than a heartbeat before breaking into laughter.

---

After that, everything had returned to normal. The only item that was still unsolved was the future status of their relationship. Although Genesis had basically admitted to have feelings stronger than friendship, he still seemed hesitant to act accordingly. And as usual, Angeal tried not to force him to make up his mind.

At the moment, the solution of that problem had to be postponed, due to the upcoming qualification test for first class. As Angeal had not the slightest doubt that Genesis was capable of passing the exam, he could not understand why his friend was so terribly afraid to fail. Sometimes he seemed like paralyzed by all that pressure he put on himself.

Angeal's thoughts briefly shifted to the upcoming task. It consisted of a testing marathon in different areas – fighting skill, strategy, a psychological examination, materia use (at least that was something Genesis had not to worry about) and so on. It even included a history and geography test as well as general knowledge.

The hardest thing was the final practical test, a so-called extended simulation. Contrary to the normal training room simulations, it took place in the open and the set-up war scenario was so realistic that there was the actual possibility of getting injured or (according to rumours among the SOLDIERs) even killed…

But in the end, Angeal was convinced that the result would be just as usual: They would pass it. They both would. With that thought, he finally fell asleep.


	6. Chapter IV 1

**IV**

_Is my imagination running away  
Or is all this really happening to me__?  
_

_More than it seems _

_These dreams inside blur reality's line  
If I could believe the dreams aside  
I am capable more than it seems_

_---  
_

Finally, the day of the practical test had arrived. Genesis, Angeal and a dozen of other candidates found themselves waiting together, only minutes away from whatever was to come.

Genesis sat on the floor, outwardly appearing utterly calm, almost meditative. But Angeal could sense his friend's hidden strain, and so he slowly made his way over to try and comfort him. When Angeal arrived at his side, Genesis held out his arm and slowly opened and closed his fingers.

"What's the matter?" Angeal asked, sitting down next to him.

"It hurts," Genesis answered, pointing to his lower arm.

"Overworked tendons, I suggest. I would recommend less exercise, but that's not a fortunate time for that."

Genesis just gave him a tired smile in return.

"Oh, come on, Gen. You are doing great; and that is the final task. Everything will work out fine, just like I told you."

"I hope the Goddess listens to your words," Genesis replied with a sigh.

Angeal got up and held out his hand. Genesis took it and allowed his friend to pull him up.

In the very minute they were both standing, one of the instructors entered the room to announce: "The test begins at zero nine hundred, which is in precisely eight minutes. Standard procedure: three groups, alphabetical order according to last names. Only this time, we start backwards."

Genesis frowned. It was always the same. Alphabetical order meant they ended up in different groups, usually Angeal in the first, Genesis in the last. Or this time, the other way around.

"Why can't they do first names for a change?" he complained in a low voice.

"Why can't you have a decent last name?" Angeal gave back in order to cheer him up, but Genesis remained serious. His face was still calm, but with an underlying, well hidden hint of sheer panic.

Aware of the fact that he had to do something, even if it was just a tiny gesture, Angeal reached for one of the pockets of his weapon's belt. "Gen?"

His friend turned around to look at him.

"Your hand, please."

"What for?" He seemed confused, but Angeal insisted. Finally, Genesis gave in and held out his hand. Their fingers met, and although they were both wearing gloves, Angeal still noticed the sensation of heat he usually felt when they touched ever so slightly. He closed his friend's hand around the round object.

Genesis eyes widened slightly. "You should not do that. They only give us a certain amount, and in order to pass, you will need your materia!"

"I'm not good with magic, you know that", Angeal replied calmly. "You can use it way better than me."

Before the other could answer, names were called out, Genesis' among them. Hesitating, he let go of Angeal's hand and put the small globe into his own bag, before turning around to follow the others.

"I'll be waiting!" Angeal called after him. Almost out of the door, Genesis turned back to give his friend a last look and an obviously forced final smile.

---

Almost twenty-four hours later, on the next day, Angeal was back in the same room. He felt more than tired, genuinely exhausted; still he had only briefly rushed over to his assigned room to change into a clean uniform and returned here. This test had been the hardest thing he ever did. He was quite satisfied with his results, but it was not yet time to lean back and celebrate. First he needed to know that Genesis had passed, too.

A door opened and Sephiroth entered. He also looked a bit tired as he came over to Angeal and set down next to him.

"Congratulation, my friend," Sephiroth said with a very subtle smile. "As you know, I was watching the whole experiment out there, and I assure you that you made it to first class without any trouble. I expected nothing else."

"Without trouble is not exactly the right choice of words. I have never felt more exhausted in my life… And I can't wait to go to bed," Angeal returned.

"I can imagine that. So why are you still sitting here?"

"I have to wait for Genesis. I promised."

"I see. How do you know he's not back yet?"

"In that case, he would have been waiting for me," Angeal replied, stating a fact he had not the slightest doubt about.

Sephiroth frowned and started searching the papers he held on his lap. "He was in the first group, wasn't he?" he asked after a while.

"Yes, he was. Is something wrong?" Angeal suddenly felt a rush of anxiety. He never thought of the possibility that something could have happened to Genesis. He could have failed that test, there was an actual chance he might, but not…

_What makes__ you so sure that he wasn't harmed? _

Meanwhile, Sephiroth seemed to have found what he had been looking for. "Group one faced a really difficult scenario out there. However, they should have all reached the finish line by now…" He frowned again, before getting up with a brisk movement. "You stay here, I'll go and check."

Angeal just nodded, while the other left the room. From one minute to the next, he just felt numb and totally unable to think straight. He remembered Genesis' slight hesitation to go. If someone had a kind of sixth sense, it was his best friend…

As there was nothing else to do to try and stop the racing thoughts in his head, Angeal silently started to pray.

_Dear G__oddess, please, let him be ok. It is no problem if he failed the test, even if he thinks that. It is not important, just let him be safe. I could not stand if he… He means the world to me…_

Once again, he was overwhelmed how strong his feelings for Genesis really where… It hurt that he could only sit and wait.

---

An eternity later, the door opened again and Sephiroth stood in the frame. Angeal almost jumped off the chair. Something in Sephiroth's face told him his prayers had not been answered. He wanted to say something, but the words seemed stuck.

Sephiroth gently touched his shoulder as if to give him strength. "Angeal, please stay calm. It might not be as bad as it looks." His voice sounded unusually comforting and warm, a fact that almost made Angeal panic. He made his way past Sephiroth and into the hallway.

Two infantrymen came down the hallway, carrying something like a stretcher.

"Careful, you idiots!" Sephiroth was back to his usual commanding tone. "If you drop him, this was your last day as part of the glorious Shinra Army, I personally guarantee that!"

Suddenly, Angeal was able to move again. He followed the two man right down the hallway to the infirmary, not even aware that he was walking or that Sephiroth tried to stay close behind him.

Time seemed to stand still. All he could see was Genesis' face, which looked terribly pale. The crimson red of the blood running down on the right side of his forehead formed a terrible contrast to that, it even seemed to stick out against his red hair.

Before Angeal realized it, they had reached the door of the hospital wing and were met by a bunch of people in white.

"Would you step back please?"

Angeal had never felt so helpless in his whole life. Luckily, Sephiroth put his hand on Angeal's shoulder again, showing his silent support. "Stay here. These people know what they are doing; he will get the best possible attention."

Still struggling to take in those words, Angeal felt his knees getting weak. Luckily, Sephiroth was there and helped him on a chair, before he continued to talk to Angeal with a low, comforting voice: "Don't worry because of the blood. That's nothing more than a scratch."

Angeal looked at him: "What the hell happened? If you know anything, please tell me."

"First of all, I want you to know that you don't have to worry about the question if Genesis passed or not. He outranged himself today, for all I have heard. And he even made it over finish line before collapsing. He passed the test all right."

"That's not what I care about right now, Seph."

"But Genesis might, as soon as he is responsive again."

They exchanged a long gaze, before Sephiroth continued. "Ok, that is what happened, as far as I was informed: Genesis made it back just like all the others of his group. One of the other SOLDIERs realized he was looking a bit too pale and that he was staggering. He wanted to address him, but in that very second Genesis apparently fainted. Nothing too unusual, though, after 24 hours awake and under constant pressure.

So the other SOLDIER did everything according to the usual drill: he put Genesis into a slightly more comfortable position on the ground and informed the medic. This guy also assumed it was nothing but normal overstrain and continued to treat someone else's ankle.

Some fifteen minutes later, the medic finally came over to look after Genesis and was astonished to learn that he had not regained conscience yet – despite of the usual measures one of his comrades had taken. Alarmed, the medic now wanted to check the pulse, only to find that he could not feel anything, at least not at the wrist. This was the moment when he figured something was gravely wrong. And finally these people started moving…

You have to remember that Genesis is a SOLDIER first class now. They will do everything in their power to make sure he'll be ok."

Angeal just stared at the opposite wall. "I can't even remember the last time he was ill…"

"Tough chance," Sephiroth replied. "That's one of the advantages being a SOLDIER. Superior immune system, you just don't catch simple infections anymore. On the other hand, if you need medical attention, something is seriously wrong…" He interrupted himself, hoping that Angeal had not listened to his last words, as they were not really encouraging.

"And I can't stop thinking of the fact that Genesis has a phobia of injections…" Angeal saw another memory clear before his eyes.

_It had been a day similar to this one, the day they were i__nformed they had passed every single test, fulfilled all requirements and were consequently selected for the SOLDIER program. _

_They had been in a hallway exactly like this one, waiting for the process that would finally make them SOLDIE__Rs – the initial Mako treatment. His friend had been pacing up and down, clearly at the verge of a panic attack._

"_What's the matter with you?" Angeal had asked._

"_Nothing,__" Genesis had answered. "Just a bit nervous."_

"_That's the understatement of the century," Angeal had made him sit down and put his arm around his shoulders. "Damned, you are shaking. What is it? Come on, trust me…"_

_Finally, Genesis had looked at him, his eyes wet as if close to tears.__ "It's really stupid, but I just recently got to know that the process involves injections," he explained with a low voice. "And the problem is I hate anythi ng connected with needles. The thought alone freaks me out."_

Sephiroth tried a comforting smile. "In that state he's in, he will not feel anything. Try not to worry." He got up from the chair. "I'm going to check if there are any more strings I could pull. And maybe I can find out what caused the whole drama in the first place." On his way to the door, he paused halfway to look back at Angeal. "I think there is no use telling you that you should go and get some sleep…"

"I could not sleep now, even if you forced me at gun point."

"Ok, then wait here. I'll be back soon. And I'll also make sure you get to see your friend as soon as the people in the white coats are finished."

Sephiroth left, and the time seemed to stand still again. Angeal felt like stuck somewhere between being asleep and being awake. His mind was filled with different tattered thoughts not making any sense at all.


	7. Chapter IV 2

Sephiroth stood at the door of the infirmary hallway, watching his friend worriedly. He understood perfectly well why Angeal was that embarrassed. Although an almost equally strong bond of friendship tied the three of them together, the bond between Angeal and Genesis was something else completely. If the first connection could be seen as a firm rope, the second was a massive chain, a bond between fellow souls.

---

It was an open secret that Sephiroth never had any friends before he met the two. Not that he had minded. He was used to being on his own; too much closeness both frightened and annoyed him, so he had developed an according behaviour that usually kept everybody at distance. It had always worked fine – until he met Angeal.

Sephiroth enjoyed the fact that for the first time he had found an equal opponent. Pretty soon, he had worked out that the friendship with Angeal would include Genesis as well, because the two were literally inseparable.

In the beginning, he more or less ignored the redhead, who himself reacted with a kind of silent jealousy. Truth be told, Sephiroth had to admit that Genesis just irritated the hell out of him, because he had considered himself to be able to read anyone. With Angeal, it worked, but with Genesis, it just didn't. He was a book of secrets to Sephiroth, and for the already famous SOLDIER that was kind of troubling.

The situation only bettered when the three of them ended up in one group for a so-called 'survival weekend'.

At the end of the first day, Sephiroth and Angeal managed to burn the canned food they had been given for dinner. Or to be more precise, Sephiroth was mainly responsible for the burning part and Angeal for not paying attention.

Genesis came back from collecting some more wood, and much to Sephiroth's surprise, he seemed more amused that angry.

"Who in the name of the Goddess taught you two to cook? Canned food isn't exactly haute cuisine, so I thought that was a manageable task…"

Sephiroth, slightly embarrassed, hissed back: "As if a wealthy parent's son like you knew anything about cooking."

Despite the fact that Genesis always reacted fiercely to any mentioning of his upbringing or his parents (a fact that even Sephiroth had learned quickly), he remained unusually calm that day. "As a matter of fact, I do. And you should be more grateful, because otherwise we would just have dry military biscuits for dinner." He turned to Angeal, who watched the scene with utter amusement. "Will you two at least be able to make a decent fire while I'm organizing something else to eat?"

"Order taken, general," Angeal replied mockingly.

Genesis pouted and disappeared between the trees.

When he returned, he carried some rather impressive fish and an obviously well-filled bag. "You are lucky that it's summer and still enough light. You can't catch fish in the darkness." He realized Sephiroth's confused look and added: "Don't tell me now you are not into fish. Tough luck!"

"No, as a matter of fact, I like fish. But you don't expect me to prepare it, do you?"

Genesis sighed. "No, I honestly don't expect anything from you two…"

Later, when they had finished their exclusive dinner, Angeal leaned back with a satisfied look on his face. "There's just one thing left to say: Genesis, I love your cooking skills. Would you marry me?"

"Sorry, not going to happen."

Sephiroth felt that he had to say something, too, but he only managed: "Not bad for a spoiled brat."

Genesis replied with a chillingly cold look. As usual, it was Angeal who tried to set things straight: "'Spoiled brat' is definitely the wrong term. 'Violently neglected child' is more like it. His parents never worried where he was or what he was doing. So he grew up to be a very self-dependent child. And I guess it was the choice between learning to cook and starving."

"Well, it wasn't as bleak as that. Staying over at your place for dinner was another option. Your mom is a great cook. In fact, it was her who taught me," Genesis added.

Sephiroth felt a twinge. This story kind of reminded him too much of his own childhood. "So your parents never really cared about you?" he asked, genuinely interested.

If Genesis was surprised about that sudden change of tone, he hid it well. "Only if they wanted to show me around. What a nice, well-behaved boy. Sometime I think they just had me because it was expected in their circles to have a son, at least. If dogs had been the requirement, they might have just gotten a chihuahua."

Although Genesis tried to sound untouched, Sephiroth could both hear and feel the hurt behind these words. And he completely understood.

From that weekend on, Genesis and Sephiroth had learned to respect each other. And after a few months, something like a genuine friendship developed, a connection that remained hidden to the eyes of the hasty observer. It was still generally assumed that the two did not get along well, a record that neither Sephiroth nor Genesis ever bothered to set straight. But much to his own surprise, Sephiroth discovered that he had started to like them both equally, in his own understating way, of course.

---

And now, he was worried twice as much: About Genesis, because of the simple fact that he was hurt or ill; and about Angeal, because he knew how hard it was for him to see his closest friend suffering.

Sephiroth made his way over to Angeal and sat down on the chair next to him, causing Angeal to look up at once.

"I see you are holding up. Any news here?"

Angeal slowly shook his head, and asked in return: "How about you? Any idea what caused Genesis to collapse in the first place?"

Sephiroth sighed. There was no easy way to put this. He looked around, as if to make sure that they were alone. "Ok, listen: this is not the version you will to read in any report. It's the result of my personal research, but trust me; it's closer to the truth than anything the officials will tell you." He looked at Angeal with an honest, convincing expression, before handing him some pieces of paper with a 'Confidential' stamp on top of it. "Notice anything unusual?"

Angeal tried to focus on the content. It was a computer printout, a so-called battle report. He knew that in an extended simulation like the one they had been faced with, a computer system registered every movement of a SOLDIER. Reports such as this were used for analysis and evaluation. By the initials GR in one corner he could tell that this was Genesis' report. Five pages filled with cryptic letters and numbers, documenting his friend's every move on the battlefield like the outline for a game of chess. Under normal circumstances, he had no difficulties reading reports like that, but after more than 24 hours awake he just did not feel like it. And he also knew Sephiroth wanted him to see just one single point.

"I give you a hint," Sephiroth took most of the papers back, leaving him just a single page. The headline read 'Spells and Summons used'. "Well, what do you reckon?"

For a few minutes, Angeal studied the statistics intensely. "To be honest, I don't see anything especialyy strking here. Ok, it's not the usual plain 'ice-fire-lightning'- stuff, but hey – that's Genesis. When it comes to materia, he never bothers with the simple things."

Sephiroth gave him a smile worthy of a patient teacher faced with a student who obviously hadn't got a clue. "What about that?" he pointed at the very last line.

"That's a summon…"

"Exactly. A summon. I acknowledge the fact that you are not really into using magic, but even you should have recognized that the materia you were given before that test is – as you just said - the usual 'fire – lightning - healing'-stuff, not really usable for summoning. And sure as hell not for that kind of summon."

"What do you mean by 'that kind'?"

"Do you know what the summon abbreviation here stands for?" Sephiroth asked, pointing to the specific letter code again.

"It must have slipped my mind…"

"I doubt that, because neither did I. I had to look it up."

Angeal frowned. Sephiroth could quote whole passages from the rules of procedure. If he had to look something up, it must have been rather unusual. "Please, Seph, show some mercy. What is it you want me to see?"

"What is the conclusion, if I tell you that Genesis obviously called out a summon he did not have the materia for? And don't tell me now the computer was malfunctioning."

"You mean he cheated?" Angeal knew perfectly well that Genesis wouldn't even think of such an option, but anything else seemed just equally impossible.

"There is no way. The computer system would have registered."

"Then we are talking about the impossible here."

"No, we are not," Sephiroth returned dryly.

Angeal rolled his eyes. "Sephiroth… Please…"

"It is not my fault that you did not pay any attention in your 'materia basics' class. Well, no summon and no spell without the use of materia, right?"

"Right. That is the law."

"Indeed. And what exactly is materia?"

"Crystallized Mako energy from the life stream." Angeal felt indeed taken back to the introductory course at the moment.

"Correct," Sephiroth relied, obviously still in the teacher mode. "In a way, our bodies equal the planet. We also have kind of life stream flowing within us. So if materia is created out of the planet's life energy, we should be able to use our own life energy in quite a similar way. The scientists have had this theory for years."

"There is a possibility to create materia out of your own body?"

"In theory, there is. It is rumoured that the Ancients had that ability. But in fact it is quite a risky undertaking, as using your own life energy means shortening your life span deliberately. The process is irreversible. And even if it does not necessarily means you are killing yourself at once, the theory says that because our bodies are not constructed for such a process, it messes up your whole system terribly. That's why research in that direction was forbidden by president Shinra himself. But just because there is no provable result, it does not mean there is no such thing…"

"And you mean Genesis did something like that?"

Sephiroth hesitated, but only for a brief moment. "That's the only possible explanation. What worries me now is not how or why he did it. The problem is that as soon as the scientists find out there is the slightest chance, all hell will break lose. That's why I'm trying to draw the curtain over the whole event as fast as possible. I won't let them use a fellow SOLDIER as a guinea pig, especially not a friend of mine."

Angeal looked at his friend with a frightened expression. Sephiroth tried another comforting smile. "Don't worry; I'll take care of that matter…"

In that very moment, they were interrupted by a nurse: "Major? The doctor wants to see you now."

Angeal wanted to get up as well, but Sephiroth made him a sign to stay. "I need to speak with the attending doctor in private first. It won't take long, I promise."

With these words, he followed the nurse. She led him to one of the rooms, opened the door for him and disappeared with the words: "The doctor will be with you in a second."

Sephiroth entered the room and stood at the end of the bed. His first concerned look was aimed at his friend. What he saw was not too frightening. The injury over Genesis' right eyebrow looked as if the doctors had to apply a few stitches, but at least the blood was gone. Apart from the fact that his face was still too pale, Genesis looked like he was simply asleep.

Sephiroth second gaze wandered suspiciously over the medical equipment. The heart rate monitor painted green lines over the screen. Sephiroth did not know enough about heart rates to know if the curves were something to worry about, but he trusted the doctors enough to judge that. The last thing he took a closer look at was the intravenous drip attached to his friend's left hand. He felt relieved to identify the letters NaCl on the infusion bag. Just ordinary physiological saline, nothing unusual here.

"Major?"

Being addressed, he turned around to face the surprisingly young looking man dressed in a standart white coat, who had just entered the room. Sephiroth faintly recalled meeting him before. An excellent physician, although rumour had it he was not always in line with the Shinra science department. Considering the situation, that could only be an advantage.

"My name is Steven Marco; I'm the doctor in charge."

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Marco," Sephiroth replied, before turning right to the important question: "How is his conduction?"

"Stable, for the moment at least. But to be honest, I've never seen anything like this in my whole career. If we were talking about a computer here, the term to use would be 'total system breakdown'. Breathing, heart beat, blood levels, circulation, all readings totally out of the normal range. We were seriously afraid to lose him. He will definitely have to stay for observation during the next days."

"Thank you very much, doctor, for all your efforts. You will keep me informed, I hope?"

"Of course, Major."

"One last question: What will go down to the record?"

Doctor Marco looked at him with a knowing expression on his face. "Massive overstrain, of course. After 24 hour in the field…"


	8. Chapter IV 3

For Angeal, it seemed like another eternity till he was allowed to see Genesis. He worriedly gazed over his friend's face that suddenly appeared very young again, and painfully vulnerable. In addition, the contrast with the white bedcover made it appear even paler than before.

Angeal stepped up to the bedside and gently touched his friend's hand. It felt unusually cold. "Gen, for the love of the Goddess, what were you thinking?" he whispered.

He did not know how long he just stood there, watching over Genesis, unaware of his own tiredness.

Suddenly the door opened and Sephiroth entered, pulling another hospital bed along with him. Obviously in order to appear cheerful, he announced: "Thought another bed would come in handy. I can't afford my best future SOLDIER first class to collapse, too. If you have to watch over your little girlfriend here, you could do with a lie-down yourself. And before I forget, I excused you both for the meeting tonight."

"Thanks, Seph. I owe you. Once again."

"You owe me nothing. I'm just repaying the favour you did me when we became friends."

After his friend had left the room again, Angeal set down on the bed. He felt tired, next to exhausted, but still he could not think about sleep. Anxiously, his eyes were drawn back to Genesis' face. Although there was no visible movement, apart from a rare shivering of the closed eyelids, he could not manage to look away.

Time seemed like frozen. Angeal did not remember falling asleep, but his tiredness must have finally overwhelmed him. Still, it was no proper sleep, more like a dark, dreamless unconsciousness.

---

When Angeal woke up, the afternoon sun was painting bright spots on the floor. He must have slept for hours, but he still felt tired. While he was struggling to adjust his eyes to the light, he tried to remember what woke him up in the first place. It had been the odd feeling of being watched…

In the next moment, his vision cleared enough to reveal the source of this eerie feeling: Angeal was looking directly into some well-known bright blue eyes, with an underlying hint of green.

"Gen, you're back!" He sat up, while Genesis slowly turned his head back to focus on the ceiling. Regardless of that fact and just endlessly relieved, Angeal continued: "Sorry, I must have fallen asleep… How long have you been awake?"

"Not too long. Just a few minutes." Genesis' hushed voice sounded slightly hoarse. He seemed to realize that himself and tried to swallow hard, but that action resulted only in a series of breathless coughs.

Angeal jumped off the bed and to his friend's side. He helped him into more upright position. "Wait, I'll get you some water."

The next series of minor events heartbreakingly reminded Angeal of the fact that apart from being awake now, his friend's condition was still far from being improved: Genesis tried to lift his left hand, but some slight shiver indicated that moving that hand was too painful. So he reached out for the glass with the right hand instead. Sadly enough, he could hardly manage to hold it as his hand was trembling too much. It was only Angeal's fast reaction that kept the glass from falling down.

"It's ok, I'll do it," he assured his friend.

While he was helping him with the glass, their hands touched slightly. Genesis managed to take a few sips of water, before lying back on the bed. He closed his eyes for a moment. Obviously, this simple action had taken too much of his strength.

Angeal watched him worriedly. Almost automatically, he reached out to remove a strand of red hair that had gotten into his friend's face, a movement that had almost become a trademark gesture by now, although Angeal was not exactly sure why. It might have been just an excuse to get away with the touch, or a sign that he had a developed a real obsession with that incredibly soft auburn hair. However, the touch of his hand caused Genesis to open his eyes again.

He managed an almost soundless "Thanks", followed by a hushed "But you should not be here."

"Quite the contrary. I should be nowhere else but here, considering the state you are in." Angeal was pretty much aware of the fact that the whole situation was embarrassing for Genesis. Loss of control and weakness where things he did not appreciate. When either occurred to him, he would normally hide away so that no one would see it. He was not used to being cared for by anyone, since his parents had not really been good with that.

But right at the moment, there seemed to be something else on his mind that was bothering him more than the thought of losing his face.

"I messed up, didn't I?" he murmured.

Angeal frowned. So Sephiroth had been right after all. Genesis did not even care about the fact that his life had been in danger; the first thing he thought of was the test result.

And even more, he sounded like on the verge of tears when he continued: "I always told you I would blow it…"

"Listen to me, stupid," Angeal tried to make the last word sound more affectionate then reprehensive, "I personally think that the test results should be last thing on your mind right now, and maybe you should not even talk as much as you do. But as it seems so terribly important to you, I am happy to let you know that you did really, really well. Congratulation, you made it to first class. And if you don't believe me, ask Sephiroth. He told me, it's official."

Genesis' eyes slightly widened in surprise. He seemed to need a few minutes to digest the words he had just heard and to scan his friend's face for any signs of untruthfulness. Angeal replied his gaze seriously.

When Genesis finally decided to believe him, his reaction both surprised and frightened Angeal. First, Genesis' lower lip started to shiver slightly. He turned his face away to hide the fact that tears started to well up in his eyes. But no matter how hard he tried to fight his emotions, he did not succeed. It must have been all the pressure and all the fear accumulated in the last weeks that finally took their toll. He started crying.

Angeal felt completely helpless at first. Then he began to worry about the breathless and forced sound of the sobs. He did not want Genesis to damage his already fragile state by crying, but Genesis did not seem to care about that. He even managed to fit in a few forced, hushed words between the sobs: "Goddess – I'm being – so stupid. You tell me – I made it – and I – start crying – embarrassing – such a – nuisance…"

That was more than Angeal could take. He sat down on the bed and gently pulled Genesis up and into his arms. Almost intuitively, Genesis buried his head on his friend's shoulder, just the way he used to do when they were kids. Angeal affectionately ran his hand over the auburn hair. He felt close to tears himself, as he suddenly realized just how much he had longed to hold Genesis in his arms again. Ever since he got to know that something happened to his friend, he had felt as if a part of his own body was missing. Now he finally felt complete again.

"It's ok," he whispered calmingly. "It's just you and me, and as far as I'm concerned, you can cry as much as you want. I don't mind at all." _I am happy you still can_, he added in his thoughts.

He could feel Genesis' heart beat, similar to that of a small bird, slightly to fast for his liking. But despite his worries, he would have given anything to have this moment frozen in time, to be able to hold on to Genesis for ever.

After what seemed an eternity, Genesis finally stopped crying, except for a few occasional sobs. His head still rested on Angeal's shoulder, and he showed no intention to move.

"Feeling better now?"

"Slightly. I still feel like I was run over by a freight train," Genesis replied slowly. "And a bit dizzy."

"Should I go and get the doctor?"

"No, I'm alright. As long as you stay where you are…"

As a reaction to those words, Angeal's own heart started to beat faster. He wrapped his arms closer around his friend's body, carefully trying to apply not too much pressure. "I'm not thinking about going anywhere."

After a while, Genesis reminded him calmly: "I think you should let me lay down again. It… I feel a bit weird."

Hesitatingly, Angeal let go of his friend. Genesis lay back on the bed, looking terribly exhausted. His eyes were slightly red from crying, but at the same time they had a feverish glance Angeal did not really like. He closed his hand around Genesis' right, desperate to maintain some connection between them.

Genesis tried to lift his left hand a few inches to look at it. He frowned at the sight of the intravenous drip attached to his hand. "That's a kind of needle, isn't it?"

"Something like that. I know you hate needles in general, but try to ignore it for the time being. I'm sure it's necessary."

Genesis focused his friend again. "Ok, I try not to look at it then. But tell me, does my hand look burned?"

Still wondering about that strange question, Angeal gently touched Genesis' left hand and studied it. "No, it looks perfectly normal to me. Why do you ask?"

"It's strange really, but the last thing I remember is that my hand – no, my entire arm - felt like on fire… And as a matter of fact, this feeling is slowly returning."

Angeal thought of Sephiroth's theory. And he suddenly remembered the instructor in his 'materia basics' class saying: "Don't you ever dare to touch materia with your bare hands. It might look and feel like a glass ball, but once it's activated, it can cause severe burns." He fought that thought off, and asked instead: "Does that mean you are in pain?"

Their conversation was interrupted by a nurse entering the room. She was obviously surprised to find Genesis awake. "I'm going to get the doctor," she announced immediately. A few minutes later she returned accompanied by an unexpectedly young man, who introduced himself as Doctor Marco. Looking at Angeal, he added: "Lieutenant, we have a few examinations and tests to do now. If I might ask you to leave the room?"

Angeal nodded slowly. He squeezed Genesis' hand one last time, before hesitatingly letting go. "I'll be back later, I promise."

"But there are no visiting hours in the evening," the nurse insisted.

"That's right, but Lieutenant Hewley is an exception. He is allowed to visit at any time, unless there are circumstances not permitting any visits at all," the doctor replied calmly.

The nurse frowned, but did not say anything else.

Angeal smiled thankfully at the man in the white coat and, with a last gaze back to Genesis, he left the room.


	9. Chapter V 1

**V**

_You think I look the best  
When my hair is a mess  
I can't believe you exist  
__But I could get used to this_

_You listen to me when I'm depressed  
It doesn't seem to make you like me less_

_'Cause you wrote my name across your hand  
When I freak you understand  
There is not a thing you miss  
And I could get used to this_

_---  
_

Genesis could not remember having felt that strange before in his whole life. It was like being caught somewhere between being asleep and being awake. His body felt extremely heavy, but at the same time like something that did not really belong to him.

_Lesson of the day: take__ enough pain killers and you don't have to experiment with drugs…_

Every single thought seemed slowed down, as if it had to fight its way through dense fog; but he preferred that numbness to the burning pain he had felt earlier. Truth be told, his life had been filled with a lot of pain, all sorts of it, but he had never encountered something quite as bad as that. It had felt like going insane, far worse than dying.

He remembered Dr Marco's worried face.

"_That's far from being normal, Lieutenant. As a SOLDIER, you should actually hav__e a higher pain threshold. However, just like your blood levels, your whole system currently seems to be a complete mess. During all those years working as a physician for the Shinra Company, I have seen a lot of strange things, but never anything comparable to you case. Anyway, I just want you to be aware of the fact that I can't really increase the dose of your medication anymore. A normal human individual would already be fighting with the symptoms of analgesic toxication."_

Ever since the pain stopped, Genesis had tried to recall the moment of his accident, but so far it was all blurred. Remembering the last days was no problem, though. He could still feel the tension and the anxiety, the paralyzing fear he had to fight every evening when the results were put up. After each examination day, the instructors would put up a list with the names of all the candidates and the words 'passed' or 'failed' written next to them. Apart from the materia test, he had constantly been afraid to find a 'failed' next to his name.

The minutes before the final test were no problem either, he still remembered every single word Angeal had said to him, but right after his group had left the building, everything went clouded. Not that it mattered. According to Angeal, he had actually managed to pass that final test. Somehow he just couldn't feel relieved or exited about it. Maybe not yet.

The only feeling Genesis was aware of right now was one of gratitude towards Angeal, although it had felt slightly awkward to wake up and see him so worried. The situation had eerily reminded Genesis of a similar one, when he had been nine years old and suffering from a severe fever. Somehow his friend always managed to be… just _there_.

Genesis sighed softly. During the last weeks, he had struggled endlessly to define his actual feelings for his best friend. Angeal had always been there for him, he was the most important person in his life, the only one he would willingly die for. Words couldn't really express their connection, Genesis knew that much. Still, he was at a completely loss trying to define what kind of connection it was. Or maybe he wasn't. Maybe he was just hesitant to admit what his heart had known all along.

For no matter how hard he had tried to deny it in the beginning, some inner voice kept telling him that his emotions had definitely surpassed the friendship level. In any other situation, Genesis simply would have trusted that voice and acted accordingly. The only problem was that his mind told him this was not an ordinary situation at all. There was too much at stake, too much to lose.

So recently, their standard roles had been oddly reversed: while Angeal seemed to unconditionally trust his emotions for the first time ever, Genesis was turning the issue over and over in his head, trying to consider all the 'what if's and 'maybe's. Sooner or later, that obsessive reasoning would drive him crazy; there was no doubt about that. He wondered how Angeal managed to do this kind of thing as a standard procedure before every decision he made.

Ironically, trying to be rational had not affected the emotional side of things. Genesis finally had to admit to himself that his feeling for Angeal had been some kind of love from day one, and the only the form or intensity of the emotion had changed, not the emotion itself. To cut a long story short, it was time to get used to the fact that he, too, had fallen for his best friend. As clouded and foggy as his mind was at the moment, this was a fact he could see crystal clear.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knocking at the door.

"They finally allowed me back in," Angeal announced as he enter the room.

Genesis was rather surprised to see that he had changed from his uniform into a track pants and t-shirt outfit he usually wore around bed time.

Noticing his friend's questioning look, Angeal added lightly: "Just figured I should adapt to your dress style."

"Yours is still better than mine. I so hate hospital nightgowns."

With an affectionate smile, Angeal returned: "Well, I think it really suits you."

As usual, Genesis would not accept that compliment. "Gosh, stop teasing me. I know perfectly well that I look a mess."

"And I know perfectly well that you couldn't look a mess, even if you wanted to," Angeal replied, trying to keep the concern he felt out of his voice. For his liking, Genesis still looked too pale, and the feverish glance in his eyes seemed to be intensified, most probably because of the heavy medication.

Angeal remembered that Dr Marco had been quite happy to see him back.

"_I think it would be really good if you stayed for a while__. To be completely honest, the fragility of your friend's state is worrying me quite a bit. We have the technical surveillance of his heart rate and everything, but I still prefer someone close to him being around, usually that's a better option. No need to worry, though, if anything should happen, the night watch has the strict order to inform me at once."_

So Angeal tried to act as normal as possible when he sat down on the edge of the bed and nodded in the direction of the heart rate monitor: "At least they turned off that beeping sound. It was quite… tedious."

"I still avoid looking at it. It's quite strange to see your own heart beat." Genesis' words seemed slower paced than usual, but surprisingly clear and steady.

"I can imagine that. How are you feeling?" Angeal finally voiced the question that had been bothering him most.

The answer came with a rather shy smile: "Slightly better, now that you're back."

Reacting to those words, Angeal gently reached out to hold Genesis' hand again. They looked at each other in silence for some minutes, before Angeal stated in a more affectionate tone: "You really frightened me, Gennie. Do you know that?"

"I think I told you before not to call me 'Gennie'. That's my childhood name, and to be honest, it kind of suited that little boy with the big green eyes and the slightly too long auburn hair, but…"

"Just a few hours ago, Sephiroth called you my 'pretty little girlfriend', so I assume it still suits you."

"Gosh, Sephie is just being stupid," Genesis returned unexpectedly passionate.

"Stupid or not, you better don't call him 'Sephie' to his face if you value you life…" Angeal replied in a calming tone.

As an instant reaction, Genesis tried to smile again. "Do you know what I really, really love about you? You take me as I am. Even when I'm depressed or temperamental and I can't even stand myself, you don't seem to care."

Angeal returned the smile. "That's because I know you well enough to understand. And because I kind of adore your spirit."

Taking a deep breath, Genesis continued: "Anyway, I just wanted you to know I never took that for grated. And I am aware of the fact that I owe you a lot. The truth is, I would be nowhere today if I hadn't met you. In fact, I doubt I would still be alive at all…"

Angeal gently squeezed his hand. "Don't talk like that… And besides, I always knew you had the talent and the strength to get somewhere. Your only weakness was self-doubt; it's been like this ever since your childhood."

Genesis took another deep breath, and wanted to return something. He looked terribly exhausted; and so Angeal immediately voiced his concern: "But given everything that has happened today, I don't think it is a good idea if you talk that much. We have the rest of our lives to discuss these issues, so there is no need to hurry…"

"There is just one more thing I want you to know. The last days have literally been hell, but they made me understand one thing: Fate obviously tied us together with a double knot. You remember that song line I quoted for you once? I recently came across the lyrics again, and it also says _You're in my stars, you know; don't need no crystal ball to tell me so. _That's exactly how it is. All that is important for me is to have you by my side, because you are the most important person in my life. _No one but you could ever fill my night, be the sunlight in my every day._"

For a few heartbeats, Angeal had no idea what he could possibly say in return. Fortunately, that state didn't last. "Do you know how much I always wanted to hear you say that, but doubted you would ever do?"

Genesis lowered his glance for a moment, before looking up again. "Well, it took me quite a long time to figure things out for myself. But I'm happy I know now. And before you ask, it's not the medication. My thoughts might be a bit slow, but they are clearer than ever before."

Squeezing his hand again, Angeal replied in a reassuring tone: "I would never doubt you. And my feelings are just the same. I've known that for a long time, but the fear to lose you made me understand just how much I actually care for you. Alarmingly much, to be precise."

Genesis returned another smile. Despite his poor condition, it managed to brighten his eyes and to add a slight hint of colour to his cheeks. In this very moment he looked downright adorable. Angeal could not resist the urge to bend over and place a kiss on his lips, rather chaste, but meaningful nevertheless, before adding in a low voice: "And because I care so much about you, I think you could do with some sleep. Considering the fact that I'm pretty tired myself, you must be genuinely exhausted."

"So you are leaving?"

Instantly realizing the barely hidden pleading undertone, Angeal simply shook his head. "Of course not. I can not leave you alone, not in that state you are in. I guess I take the bed over there. Unless… If I'm not mistaken, these hospital beds are wider than the camp bed we shared before. But that's your decision."

"Back than, we were rookies and there was a severe lack of beds in that camp. That was a perfectly practical reason," Genesis returned in an effort to be rational. _Here I go again. Talking about reverse roles…_

"Point taken," Angeal stated calmly. "Does just wanting to be close to you qualify as a practical reason, too? If not, you will have to bear with the fact that I'm having a tiny irrational phase, just for once."

"Don't you think it would look kind of strange? To other people, I mean."

"Actually, I could not care less if anybody thinks anything or not. It's not important to me. You are. And by the way, I already spoke to the superiors. I will not accept my promotion until you are well enough to accept yours, too." Angeal made a pause before he added a slightly teasing: "Don't worry. I'm not intending to do anything that would mess up your heart rate anymore than it is already."

Still heartbreakingly weak, but decidedly Genesis lifted the right hand to denote a slap. "Stop being stupid."

"So I take it I'm going to sleep in the other bed then?"

With a sigh, Genesis finally replied: "No, you don't. Just be careful with all that cable tangle attached to my left hand."

"Order taken."

---

Some minutes later, they were lying in the darkness, just broken by a dim green light from the medical equipment.

"That kind of reminds me of our childhood back in Banora. Remember? The night you did not want to go home?" Angeal asked after a while. Ever since their childhood, discussing either the events of the day or exchanging memories had been one of their favourite activities before falling asleep.

"I mainly remember that huge Banora White Tree in front of your window. Before we left join the Shinra Army, we carved our initials in the stem," Genesis returned, in a low voice that sounded rather dreamily.

"That's right. I almost forgot about that. As soon as we get a few days off, we could visit our old home and find out if the tree is still there…"

This time, Genesis did not reply. His fairly regular breathing indicated that he had fallen asleep. Carefully, Angeal tried to move a bit closer to him, before he closed his eyes as well.


	10. Chapter V 2

It was well in the middle of the night, when Angeal suddenly woke up.

"Gen?" he whispered drowsily. No reply, but he felt a slight shiver going through his friend's body that caused him to be wide awake in the split of a second. He just felt that something was seriously wrong. "Gennie? What is it?"

This time, the answer was a hushed, almost voiceless: "I… I don't know. But… it hurts…"

Angeal reached out for the light switch and worriedly looked at his friend. Genesis' eyes were blank and filled with tears, the ones you can not avoid when you are in severe pain. By the looks of it, he needed all his strength not to scream out loud.

Just a second later, a nurse was in the room. A single glance was enough for her to announce: "I'm going to alert the doctor. Try to stay calm, will you?"

Angeal nodded briefly, before concentrating on Genesis again. His friend's breathing sounded flat and troubled. He had closed his eyes, yet the lids were fluttering and tears kept streaming down his cheeks. Angeal did not really know what to do. He felt so terribly, painfully helpless. All he could do was to strike gently over his Genesis' hair and whisper: "It's going to be ok, I promise, it's going to be ok…"

It seemed like an eternity till Dr Marco finally entered. Angeal did not even notice his presence, until he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and heard a decided voice saying: "I'm very sorry, but I have to ask you to wait outside."

On the hallway, he started to pace up and down nervously. He felt so bad that he silently started to pray again.

When Dr Marco came out of the room, the expression on his face was rather cryptic. "Lieutenant Hewley, I need to talk to you for a minute."

He pointed to some chairs. Benumbed with fear, Angeal sat down. The physician took up a chair opposite of him and started with a firm voice: "To be completely honest with you, I'm quite perplexed. I have been working for the Shinra Company for some years now, and I'm used to treat patients with – let's say – not typical human background. But I have never seen something like this. We put your friend on some quite heavy medication, and I have no explanation why the pain suddenly returned, and in that intensity. Nevertheless, something has to be done. And I am afraid I have to confront you with a rather difficult task."

"Why me?"

The other man looked at Angeal for a moment, before he calmly stated: "Because your friend is currently not in the right state to make an informed decision. And for that case, he gave you the authority to act on his behalf."

Angeal knew that this authorisation was part of the paperwork every member of the Shinra Army had to fill in. As far as he remembered, it was mutual: he had given the same power to Genesis in his papers, but he had never really though about the consequences.

Strangely enough, he suddenly remembered the brief conversation they had on this topic when filling in the questionnaires.

"_In such a case, what would you want me to decide?"_

_Genesis seemed to think about it, before he returned: "I'm not going to give you a list now, because I trust you to make the best possible decision anyway. Just promise me one thing…" here he had paused briefly, before he added in a dead-serious voice: "Don't ever make me suffer more than necessary. I can deal with pain pretty well, year long experience, but I still can't stand it."_

Unaware of Angeal's thoughts, the physician continued: "During the examination in the afternoon, I asked him if the statements given in his papers were still valid, and he confirmed that he wanted you to decide if he was not able to do so."

"What are the options?" Angeal was aware of the rather cold and rational tone he used, but he knew perfectly well this was the only way he could keep his emotions at bay.

Dr Marco tried a sympathetic smile. "Basically, we have three options here. They are all bad, but one is at least slightly better than the others.

As I said, we have used highly dosed medication so far. The amount should have been more than sufficient, but as we have seen, it is not. Fact is that we have to be very careful now, for whatever we do, it might have severe consequences.

So our first option would really be to do nothing. I can tell you straight away that this is the worst idea possible. Even if were dealing with an ordinary pain reaction here, it would increase not only the hear rate dramatically. And last but not least, it would be more than cruel.

The second option is what I would go for if this was a normal case. If a patient suffers from unbearable pain, we put him in an artificial coma. Only in this specific situation it might be a bad idea, too, because on the one hand, I'm quite sure it would not stop the pain, only take away the ability express it, and on the other hand, the medication needed to introduce an artificial coma would cause even more havoc.

So basically, as far as I can advice you, you are stuck with a yes or no decision on the third option. If is a no, we would have to go through the other options again, but I would not recommend it."

"And what exactly is the third option?"

"Basically, trying to block out the pain. As I told you before, when it comes to medication, we have to be rather careful, as we are dangerously close to an overdose already… therefore, I would like to use a supportive procedure called epidural anaesthesia. It's a form of regional anaesthesia that involves the injection of drugs directly into the epidural space. Such an injection can cause both a loss of sensation and a loss of pain, by blocking the transmission of signals through nerves in or near the spinal cord… Doing so, we hope that this may reduce the patient's requirement for opioid analgesics." He paused to show an apologetic smile. "Have I lost you?"

"Partly. I'm not really an expert with all those medical terms," Angeal was almost frightened by the still completely calm tone of his voice. It carried absolutely no hint of the emotional uproar he was in. "Still, I guess I got you point…" Even before he said it, Angeal knew that this question would only make a decision more difficult, but he still felt he had to know; even if that meant to expose one of his friend's best kept secrets: "How bad is that going to be for someone having a phobia of needles in general?"

The physician gave him another sad smile. "I'm not going to lie to you. For all I know, it's rather bad for a normal patient already, especially in this case, when we can't really afford to provide a proper sedation. For a patient with a general phobia of injections, it's probably as close to hell as it gets. Just bear in mind: it's highly unpleasant, but most likely to be effective."

Angeal had to swallow really hard. That was a decision he did not want to make, but he obviously had no choice. And he knew perfectly well that emotions would not be helpful. The whole situation reminded him of an assignment years back, when he had been leading a small team and been unable to make a decision for the first time in his life; although the options were pretty clear. There was just one way to breach the enemy lines, and just one person in his team capable of doing so: Genesis. Angeal had known that perfectly well, but he had hesitated to issue the order, until Genesis had walked up to him and quoted the third rule in the _Shinra Guideline for Officers in Command_, which said 'Don't let you feelings hamper your judgement.'

So he pushed every other thought to the back of his mind and went for the only logical answer: "In this case, I have no other choice but to go for the third option, as you suggested; under the condition that I'm allowed to be present. "

"Normally, the answer would be a strict 'no', but I think in this case we can grant exemption in order to achieve a positive effect for the patient." The physician got up from his chair. "It's better not to waste any more time. I'll get the equipment and be right back."

After he disappeared, Angeal got up as well and re-entered the room. He stepped up to the bedside and gently touched Genesis' hand. The contact caused his friend to open his eyes again, but his gaze was still blank. All that could be read in his eyes was the extreme pain he was in.

_You put quite a burd__en on me with that authority. As it seems, I can only pray I made the right decision. _

_Damn it, I wish I could take a part of that pain for you, but I can't. The only thing I can do is to be with you…_

"Gennie, do you trust me?" There is was. The question. Angeal had asked it a million times before, in a million different situations. And Genesis' answer had always been the same, always positive, but so many things had happened since the last time that question had been asked. So much had changed.

Genesis looked up to him, his eyes suddenly clear. Although it was scarcely audible, his lips formed the usual: "Of course I do."

---

An eternity later, it was all over. Angeal sat on the edge of the bed, still holding Genesis' hand, waiting for the effect of the medication to set in.

"How are you doing?" he asked gently.

The answer came in a once again low but steady voice: "Much better. Thanks. It's a bit weird though. I can't really feel my body properly… but at least I can still feel that you are holding my hand."

They just kept looking at each other for a while, before Angeal calmly stated: "Well, you heard what the doctor said. You need rest. So I supposed we turn off that light and try to sleep again." Following these word, he placed an almost chaste kiss on his friend's forehead and turned around to go over to the other bed.

But Genesis threw him a protesting glance. "Where do you think you are going? I was just getting used to you lying next to me."

"Do you think it's a good idea? What if I hurt you by incident?"

"You can't. As I told you, I don't really feel anything right now. If you help me to move over a bit, there's plenty of space for you."

"That's another point. You were told not to move…"Once again, there were so many perfectly good reasons, but in the end, Angeal was not in the mood to deny any wish to the person he loved so dearly. "Let settle for a compromise: I move that bed over right next to yours, ok?"

Finally, the room was dark again, with just enough light left so that Angeal could still see Genesis' face.

"Angeal?"

"Right here. What's the matter?" The addressed replied instantly.

"Honestly, I thought I would die. Thank you so much for being there, once again. Looks like you are always the one to save me. Promise me to stay around in case I ever need to be rescued again?"

Once again, Angeal had no idea what he could possibly say in return, so he just gently squeezed Genesis' hand.

Minutes later, they were both asleep again, still holding hands.


	11. Chapter V 3

When the light of the next morning had just begun to illuminate the room, Angeal carefully climbed out of the bed in order not to disturb his friend's sleep. Of course it did not work. The slightest movement or the faintest sound was normally enough to wake him; and although Genesis still far from his usual state of awareness, his eyes immediately opened halfway. Angeal leaned down to whisper: "Duty calls. I have to go for the obligatory briefing now. But I will be back as soon as possible. Do you promise me to try and get some more sleep?"

Genesis only nodded dozily. Hesitating, Angeal placed another kiss on his cheek, before he left the room.

---

Two days later, only minutes after the doctor and the nurses had left the room, Sephiroth came around to pay his friend a visit.

"Major! What a surprise to see you," Genesis greeted him in a teasing tone, obviously to indicate that his overall condition had improved and there was no need to worry.

"At ease, Lieutenant," Sephiroth returned with the tiniest sign of a smile playing around his lips, while he took a chair to sit next to the bed.

Genesis examined his opposite's expression for a while, before he continued: "Obviously, you didn't just come here to check up on me. There's something else on your mind."

Sephiroth was once more surprised how well Genesis could read him, while he still had difficulties the other way around. "You are right, "he admitted, "I hate to bother you with this, given the fact that you are not in the best condition yet, but…"

"I'm ok. Just tell me."

"But you promise me to interrupt me at anytime if it gets too much for you?" After Genesis nodded, he continued: "Your accident. Have you any memories of the situation?"

"It's funny you ask. Yesterday, I tried very had to remember, but I just couldn't. And this morning, it was all back. Every single second." He looked at Sephiroth.

"It's because of the summon I used, isn't it?"

"Not so much the summoning, more the materia. The one you did not have."

"Guess I should have known this would get me in trouble, but – as Angeal would doubtlessly put it – I wasn't thinking that far in that specific moment….However, I can figure out what you concluded from the report file; but I have to disappoint you. I did not create any materia, not in the true sense of the word."

"Then what was it you did instead? Once again, I'm sorry for asking, but I need to know everything you remember."

Genesis just shook his head. "Stop apologizing. We are friends, aren't we? I'm going to tell you everything in a second. Could I have some water first?"

"Of course," Sephiroth handed him the water glass from the nightstand. Genesis' right hand was still staggering slightly, but he was relieved that he finally managed to hold the glass without dropping it.

"Thanks. Ok, I'm not going to tell you all the details. You have read the report, I guess. It was pretty much towards the end of the whole exercise. My group had reunited again and we were on the way to the designated finish point. I was pretty nervous, because I had done the maths and assumed I did not perform too well… According to my calculation, I would fail."

"You calculation was wrong, by the way… Never mind, just go on."

Genesis gave him a half-smile, before he continued: "You know me. I was devastated. Then we were confronted with a surprise attack, and I had the idea for this summon to save my whole group at once. Pretty exaggerated, I know, but my last chance to earn some credit points. Unfortunately, I was pretty out of materia. And then…" He paused.

"Then?" Sephiroth asked immediately. He did not want to apply pressure, but he guessed this was the critical point of the story; and he was desperate to learn what happened.

"I'm just wondering about myself. Must have been the sleep deprivation. Without really thinking about it, I took out the last piece left in my materia bag. It was a shard."

"A shard?"

"Exactly. You know, when materia is produced artificially, there can be shards. If they are tiny, they are called 'materia dust' and…"

"…used for exercising, mainly for beginners," Sephiroth completed the sentence. "You can't really do any magic with that, just something like illusions. I know, done that myself long ago."

"I still use to exercise with that stuff from time to time, unusual summons and so on. Somehow this shard must have been a left over. As I said, I don't really know why I did what I did. I took it out and concentrated. For a few seconds, I felt a really bad pain in the chest, as if my heart was exploding. And suddenly, the shard had turned into a proper materia ball. You see, I did not create it, I only extended it in a way."

"That's pretty much the same, if you ask me."

"Anyway, it was quite strange. The summoning worked, but the materia would not dissolve as usual. It continued to glow for a moment and then… well, it simply exploded in a way. The pieces vanished, but one of them must have hit me. I think that's where the cut is from." He absentmindedly touched the stitched wound over his right eyebrow.

Sephiroth frowned. "That explains a lot. If a piece hit you, it means that Mako energy seeped in through the cut. That's what messed up all your blood levels."

For some minutes, neither of them spoke. Then Sephiroth asked: "Are you aware of what you did? And what it means if the scientists got to know about it?"

"I still think it's not about Mako creation out of own life energy. It was not the real thing, but I agree that the scientists might see it differently…"

"That's exactly what I concluded. Never mind, I did push a few buttons and tired my best to cover it up. The official version is that you just overreached yourself, a slightly more critical case of normal fatigue."

"Are they going to buy that?" Genesis asked with a hint of concern.

"I hope so. Just promise me one thing: Don't do that again."

"I can assure you, I would not repeat that, not even if you forced me at gun point. The pain… it was really bad."

Sephiroth nodded. "And you better try to stay away from unnecessary Mako radiation, too. If something like that cut happens again…"

"I promise. I'm not interested in another hospital holiday."

"Glad to hear that. Now the most important thing is that you get well again soon. That should be your top priority now, got me, Lieutenant?"

Genesis replied with a slightly weak but heartfelt: "Yes, Sir."

Sephiroth gave him another one of his rare smiles. "Sorry to leave you now, but I need to terrorize some aspirants for SOLDIER. Although I don't see the sense behind it, they are the saddest bunch I have seen in my life."

"That's exactly what our instructor used to say about us. I think 'spineless pathetic lot' was another favourite term he had."

"Well, some things never change."

Sephiroth was already at the door, when Genesis called out to him: "Seph? I forgot the most important thing: Thank you. You are a real friend."

That sentence resulted in an even brighter smile from the famous SOLDIER.

---

"Well, done any reading yet?" Angeal asked, when he came for another visit in the afternoon. He had brought Genesis some of his books the day before.

"Not really. I tried, but everything blurs before my eyes after about five minutes."

"Poor honey."

To Angeal's surprise, Genesis did not react to that remark, but looked at him intensively, as if to convince him of something. "How about you read something to me?"

"Bad idea. I really suck at reading. If you hadn't been home-schooled, you would know that already our village teacher told me that I could read perfectly in the technical sense, but I totally lacked expression; so listening to me has always been a real pain."

"That's not true," Genesis immediately returned. "You have a beautiful voice. You could read the 'General Rules for Shinra Military Staff' and I would love to listen to it…"

Smiling at the obvious compliment, Angeal gave back: "That must have been the only book in your room that did not look like you read it a hundred times before. Along with 'Guideline for Higher Ranking Officers and Members of SOLDIER'."

His heart rose to see that Genesis smiled back. "Those two just happen to have a really boring storyline…"

---

Another two days later, Genesis insisted that he felt well enough to try and get up again.

Angeal initially did not like that idea at all, but in the end, he just murmured: "It's easier to beat a nail into a brick wall than to beat any sense into you, I guess…"

Genesis' first steps were terribly staggering and weak, but his condition improved from day to day.

About ten days after his accident, Genesis was up and standing at the window when Angeal came to visit. He turned around with a rather sheepish gaze as if he had been caught doing something inappropriate. "Don't be mad at me. I just felt like it."

With a grin, Angeal returned: "I'm not mad at you. But if you start doing sit ups next time, I personally tie you to your bed."

"It just feels weird lying around. And I might lose the results of all the training if I'm not careful."

"You're not an ordinary person, you're a SOLDIER. Your abilities don't wear of that fast." In fact, it made Angeal terribly happy to see that his friend's condition had improved so much.

Some days later he was allowed to leave then infirmary, but told to stay at his room and take it slowly; an order Genesis chose to ignore as far as possible. Angeal watched over him worriedly, although he could not nail down yet what caused his concern. Outwardly, it appeared that every day brought Genesis closer to his old self again. If he continued like this, the accident would soon be nothing but a faint memory. Angeal just couldn't help but to wonder if that was just the calm before the storm.

* * *

Author's Note:

Technically, the story ends here. The final short chapter is set a few years later (just before the events of 'Crisis Core') and was – in the first place - meant to make a connection to my other story, "Final Fiction". But even if you don't know any of my other writing, it will still make sense, so you can go on and read it anyway.

(For those of you who read "Final Fiction" – of course the 'do you trust me?'- question is another connection ;)

You might realize that the ending is pretty open here; that's because I am currently working on a kind-of-sequel to this story…

**And did I mention I love reviews and comments? I really, really do… :)**


	12. Chapter VI

**VI**

_  
It feels just like I'm going crazy  
I guess that this is breaking up  
And now not even you can save me  
Will someone wake me up?_

_Never thought that we'd go under  
I guess we won't be making up  
And if this is a dream I wonder  
Could someone wake me up?_

_---_

Angeal stood in the small room, wondering. It had been a few days since he returned from a mission to Wutai with his protégé Zack, only to find out that Genesis had disappeared. At first, he had tried not to worry, but with every day going by, his sorrow grew. Finally, he felt unable to take it anymore. So he had come to his friend's room to look for any traces, any sort of explanation, but he had not found a single clue. It all looked heartbreakingly normal.

By sheer coincident, he discovered the piece of paper lying on the desk. He would normally have overlooked it, but then he realized that it was covered with a familiar round, almost calligraphic handwriting. And it featured his name.

So he picked it up to read the following lines:

_I am terribly sorry, Angeal. I know I hurt you an awful lot, once again, and I hurt myself with that, too. _

_There is a weird feeling telling me that this time, it is my turn to protect you. I can't allow you to stand up for me again. It is too dangerous._

_You might have realized (sure you have, because you know me better than anybody else) that I have not been myself recently. Something is happening, and I don't really understand it yet. But I do know that I'm changing, and I don't like it. To be honest, I might be just terribly frightened. _

_However, as long as I do not know what this is all about, I have to stay away from the people I care about, which means of course to stay well away from you. _

_This is a battle I have to fight on my own._

_At the same time, it's nothing but the worst nightmare I ever had, and I would trade my life for someone to wake me up…_

The piece of paper almost fell out of his hands. Angeal had never felt so close to tears for a long time. Suddenly he realized that the feeling he thought he had lost was still there, deep in his heart, burning even more and even stronger than ever before.

_Looks like some ties can't be cut that easily after all…_

---


End file.
